8. The Day Game
You’ve now got a system for approaching and seducing a woman at nighttime—a system that will serve you well. However, you are not always in a bar or club when the woman of your dreams passes you by. In order to have total choice of women and the maximum amount of opportunity, it’s important for you to understand how to meet women during the daytime, and how to maximize those encounters.
Day game and night game are different, and you’ll probably prefer one or the other. There are benefits and drawbacks to each. Day game takes you outside of bars and clubs and into streets, shops, the gym, public transportation, etc. Day game allows you to approach girls who are on their own (as they probably won’t be at night!) and who aren’t used to getting hit on—at least, not in these daytime situations. That means they won’t be armed with what I rather callously, but honestly, call “bitchshields.”
In other words: you’ll be getting the real person.
Most people, both men and women, have a persona that they adopt in a club or a bar. Because with day game you’re both sober, on your own, and being yourselves, any contact number you get in the daytime is usually pretty solid. Girls often flake on club number closes because either they were drunk when they gave the number or they don’t like the idea of meeting a guy in a bar. Daytime approaches are the opposite: they’re actually romantic, and a woman feels better telling her friends that she’s meeting “the guy who chatted me up in the post office” than telling them about “the guy I met in a bar on Friday night.” There are also lots of attractive girls who avoid going out at night because they don’t like nasty men groping them, don’t like loud music, or just prefer to do other things. If you want to meet a nice girlfriend who won’t cheat on you and isn’t a party girl who likes getting drunk, day game is the way to go.
A Complete System for Day Game
The problem with day game is that the girls you approach will be more difficult to hook. Girls in the daytime are doing something; they’re on their way somewhere, waiting for someone, buying something, or doing their workout. In the evening you can open any group standing around in a bar, and holding them for a minute or two shouldn’t be too much of a problem. On the other hand, a girl walking in the street at midday will stop for you only if you’ve got a very good reason (asking if you should dye your hair—that old bar standby—generally won’t cut it!), and it will take a lot for you to distract her from whatever she’s doing.
Day game is a more advanced skill because it works best when you can use something spontaneous and situational to start the conversation. Canned material, opinion openers, routines, and magic tricks seem a little weird in the day. In other words, day game is really more about your natural conversational skills and personality. One of its biggest drawbacks is that it’s difficult to kino-escalate. A one-minute kiss close in the daytime is an advanced-level skill.
When you start day game, expect it to be tougher to get a good response immediately after your opener. Remember, these women are on their lunch break; they’re catching a train; they’re shopping. It’s not like in a bar, where at most they’re having a conversation with friends. It’s not a sociable environment; they’re not hoping or expecting to get picked up.
So don’t expect to be greeted with a happy, smiling face when you open your mouth. You might very well have to work for a few minutes to warm things up and get a woman to commit to the interaction. It doesn’t mean that she’s rude. You’d probably do the same thing if you were in her shoes. On a girl standing still, it’s fine to use an opinion opener—it’s easier to hook, and harder for her to completely ignore you. But if you’re stopping a moving woman, it’s tough because she’s already engaged in something other than you.
In fact, stopping a woman already engaged in motion is the hardest day-game skill of all to pull off. If you find yourself in this situation—if you see a woman whose looks call out to you as she strides along—you need to communicate your intent when she’s about ten to twelve feet away. You can do this in various ways:
Make eye contact with her.
Make a curious face, as if you’re going to ask her something.
Lift the palm of your hand toward her, slightly above waist height, to subtly show her a “stop” sign.
If you wait until she’s within two or three feet to do any of these things, she won’t stop because her guard will be up. You need to deliver your opener when she’s farther away, to give her time to stop before she passes you.
You definitely need a pre-opener. Use “Hey” or something similar, and not “Excuse me,” because you don’t want her to think you want something from her (as a street beggar would).
Don’t go too quickly into your opener. If possible, get her to stop walking as you say, “Hey… I need to ask you a quick question.” If you segue quickly into your opener, it’s more likely she’l keep walking as she listens and then just throw you a quick answer over her shoulder.
Your goal during day game is to fill the first minute with statement-based elaboration on the opener or a similar subject, and then make the interaction increasingly more personal.
Staying on the opening subject for too long after this will make the interaction go stale, and it will get harder and harder to keep things interesting and to make a transition. As soon as you’ve got her committed to the interaction, get off the opening subject.
Once she’s invested in the interaction, it’s time to take it personal. This can be done by introducing yourself, asking what she’s up to, and using other questions to elicit information about her. This part of the conversation should still be structured correctly (as described in the discussion of night game), so that there’s an attempt to connect rather than simply asking question after question.
The next task is to go for the number close. The way you do this is to connect with her about an activity. Some examples:
You: Do you like dancing?
You: Have you tried salsa?
Her: No. I want to, though.
You: Oh, well—I go to this great salsa class on Wednesdays. You should come!
Her: Yeah, sounds good.
You: Okay, give me your number and I’ll text you the details. Or…
You: What do you like doing when you aren’t working?
Her: Mmm…visiting art galleries and stuff like that.
You: Cool. Have you been to the new Michelangelo exhibition at the museum?
Her: Not yet, but I’ve been meaning to go.
You: Well, I was going to check it out sometime soon too; let’s go together.
Her: All right. Great.
You: I could do Tuesday or Friday afternoon—is either one any good for you?
Her: I’m free on Friday.
You: Cool, let’s do it. What’s the best way to get in touch with you?
Her: I’ll give you my number. Or…
You: Do you go out to clubs?
Her: Yeah, sometimes.
You: I get invited to some really good parties. You should come out with us sometime—bring your friends too.
Her: Yeah, okay.
You: Cool. Well, give me your number and I’ll be in touch closer to the weekend. Or…
You: What are you up to?
You: Do you know your stuff when it comes to fashion?
You: Well, I was hanging out with a fashion consultant recently and she gave me some great ideas. Next time you’re out shopping, I could join you for an hour and you could help me get some new clothes.
Her: All right.
You: Cool, let me take your number and we can arrange it.
Sometimes it might not happen so smoothly—in other words, the close might not arise from the conversation naturally. In that case, you could use a hook from earlier to close later. For example, you could find out that she likes shopping, art galleries, and sushi in the first two minutes; and then, five minutes later, you could use any of these things to lead smoothly into the close. The intervening time is spent developing a stronger connection, or just increasing her comfort (and thus the likelihood of getting her number).
Example: Complete Day-Game Pickup
The following is an example of a day-game pickup from open to close, with a range of various possible answers covered. Remember that this is a guideline; ideally, there will be room for banter, or for the conversation to go in a different direction. This is principally an example of structure and the fact that, regardless of what a girl says in response to your opener, you can still continue the pickup and close.
Day-Game Number Closing
A lot of guys ask me things like, “How long should I stay in an interaction?” and “How do you get a number close in the daytime?” The first question should answer itself: you stay until you feel you have enough mutual connection/attraction that she’ll want to see you again. Generally, a solid close will need ten minutes in the daytime, but you could be as fast as three minutes. The idea is that you open and, as soon as she commits to the interaction, you switch into connecting mode and moving toward the number close.
It’s important to note that the point at which you can get a number close is not the same as the point where you can get a date with the girl. She might willingly give you her number, but then—as with some women you meet at night—flake on the date. There are different levels you can get to:
Hey, do you know where Trafalgar Square is?
(Question asked of two young women in London)
Do you guys like to go to clubs?
Okay, cool. Wel, I’m meeting my friend later and I think we’re going to a party someplace. I’mnot sure where it is, but it sounded coolwhen he told me. You should definitely come.
(At this point, assess receptivity. Are they up for coming or not? If they are…) Cool, wel give me your number and I’l text you the details after I meet him.
Hook point. She’s comfortable talking to you and commits to doing so for at least a short time.
Email close point. She doesn’t feel comfortable giving her number but is happy for you to have her email address. She might also take your number when you suggest taking hers.
Number close point. She responds positively to the number close suggestion.
Date close point. This is where she’s enthusiastic about meeting you for a date, to the point of chasing after and trying to close you, or is showing a lot of “IOIs” (a.k.a. indications of her interest).
The question is, What can you do, if you get only as far as a number close, to make sure you can line up a date? Some guys convert only 10 percent of their numbers into dates; others are closer to 100 percent—and that’s of course where you want to be.
When you’re going for a close, there’s a checklist of things that will show you how likely it is that you’ll convert into a date:
You arrange a date/next meeting there and then, for a specific activity on a specific day at a specific time and place.
She takes your number after you take hers, or cals herself fromyour phone.
There are some IOIs and attraction on her side.
She asks if you always do this (picking up women in the street), if you’re single, or some other verbal IOI.
You know that, when she’s chalenged by her friends to tel themabout you later, she knows enough good things about you to paint you in a positive light.
She’s sure enough about you to contradict her friends if they say it’s a bad idea to meet. This means putting in the time to make a solid connection.
If you can check off all these items, you’re in a very solid position, and the likelihood that she will flake is low. To minimize that likelihood even further, try to make sure that your follow-up game is as solid as possible. It will help your success rate to spend some time with the next chapter, which focuses on the matter of follow-up.
There are different levels of number closing in day game as in night, and this may result in a massive variable in your success rate. Asking a girl to meet you for dinner creates much more pressure than inviting her out to a party with her friends; therefore, you’ll need to put in a lot less work if you’re just trying to get her to a party.
There’s a filter that applies like this: when she’s sitting at home with her friends and you text her, how happy is she going to be to receive that text, and what will her friends say about the upcoming date? If you’ve spent just five minutes with her, the chance that she’ll meet you one on one is slimmer than that of her going to a party with you and her friends. If you instant-dated her at your first meeting and spent an hour with her already, then the one-on-one meeting is a lot more likely. There’s no benefit to rushing the close, and the contact number you get doesn’t mean much if it isn’t solid.
If you want to see for yourself how day game is done, then you’re going to want to check out our new advanced day-game video program. It contains over ten hours of live “infield footage” where we show you actual approaches and then break them down for you step-by-step. For more information on the program go to the following URL: www.puatraining.com/daygame.
Day Game: Your Best Bet for a Nice Girl
With a one-on-one student, I was training one day in Trafalgar Square, London. I was getting the student to do some approaches when a very cute girl walked past, about five yards away; I waved and she waved back. For a minute or so I debated whether to go after her or not. When she slowed down to type a text message, I took that as my sign and ran after her. I told her exactly what I was thinking—that I hadn’t been going to run after her, but then she slowed right down and I just had to. I chatted about the National Gallery, why she wasn’t at work in the daytime, and other small talk. Then I said I’d left my friend alone and should get back to him, but that we must meet up. Her name was Melissa. I took her number and tentatively set something up for two days later. The student was impressed, and I was very happy to get such a fast number close.
I called Melissa later and we arranged to get together in the evening. We met at a subway station and I took her to a local bar. Despite my growing experience, I hadn’t known that it was possible to have a date like this or to meet someone like her. She listened to what I had to say and asked penetrating questions that showed she was listening intently, really wanted to know more, and was very intelligent. That kind of tuned-in listening is something I do too when I’m really interested in someone, and it was an amazing situation. Within a couple of hours, we got to know each other at a deep level that really should have taken months. It turned out to be the best date I’ve ever had, and the most intense connection I’ve ever had with a girl. Since that day I’ve always emphasized that there are some girls who never go to clubs and who you can meet only in the daytime. If you never do day game, you’ll never have a chance to meet these gems.