HOW TO SURVIVE A zombie attack
Flesh-eating, brain-dead and highly infectious, zombies can ruin your day. They infect
through any exchange of fluids, so protection is key.
1 Get some body armour. Chain
mail is ideal but hard to find. Look
for chainsaw-rated gear at your
local DIY store. Underneath, wear
an all-in-one protective suit and
get a good dust mask and goggles.
2 If you are bitten,
immediately tourniquet the
limb tightly. Encourage it to
bleed by keeping it low and
very warm, to discourage
clotting. If the flesh looks as
though it has been infected,
3 Use neat bleach to
clean up any liquids
that come from
zombies. At 5 per cent
it is strong enough to
kill most viruses and
4 Travel at the sunniest, hottest times.
Zombies are unlikely to have the same cooling
responses as humans, and moving generates
heat in their bodies. Even if they can withstand
the pain of hyperthermia, there is a maximum
load their body can take; they may literally
have a meltdown.
5 If a zombie does not display the full
spectrum of symptoms, herd immunity may be
starting. Isolate them to confirm this is not just
delayed-onset zombification. If it is real, take a
blood sample and wait for it to clot in a sterile
dish. The lighter, runny liquid that separates
from the clot may contain valuable antibodies.
Find a volunteer for trials.
6 Once the epidemic infects
30 per cent of the population
it will be unstoppable, but if
it is biological (rather than
supernatural) you can wait
it out. Basic maths tells us
that a sedentary, unfed 80kg
(175lb) zombie will waste
away to a pile of bones and
skin after 150 days. Stockpile
enough supplies for five or
six months, and stay indoors.