49 Human Billboard – Bullshit jobs and how to get them
Sell body space to interested morons
As I go around town doing my thing—your domain name will be plastered smack dab cross my noggin.
$$: In 2005, the inventor of this new profession, Andrew Fischer of Nebraska, sold his forehead on eBay to SnoreStop for $37,375 for one month.
ß: 50. Finding a new way to merchandise something that people always thought was a noncommercial property isn’t bullshit, Sparky.
Skills Required: Must know how to sell something on eBay.That’s a skill in itself, you know. I tried to sell a very nice coffee table book there once, and you know how many bids I got for it?
Duties: Have forehead. Investigate line extensions to other body parts.
Famous Example(s): Andrew Fischer began it, but if one is interested in selling virtually any body part, there is now a place to do it. Body Billboardz, for instance, is described as “a network bringing together those who are willing to sell space on their body with advertisers interested in buying that space.” Included are venues on arm, back, chest, head, leg, and other. I’m interested in other. W
How to Get It: Have a body with enough hairless, clear space on it to accommodate messages of varying length. W
The Upside: That big butt of yours is finally worth something.
The Downside: Some social acquaintances may fi nd you crass.
The Dark Side: The part of your brain stem that was intended to accomplish anything with your life atrophies, and you are left with nothing but a tiny nub useful only for subsequent crackpot schemes. W
Where You Go from Here: Politics.