15 Boulevardier – Bullshit jobs and how to get them
Frequent the most fashionable places, enjoy the company of fatuous people who
are impressed with you and use your social cachet as their own, or vice versa
I will not date a
I want to have fun.
$$: None. Being a boulevardier is an ancillary bullshit occupation that must feed off a core job that produces income. The premier boulevardier of our time, George Hamilton, acts to support his tan and his bon vivant lifestyle; his activities as a boulevardier in turn enhance his chances to obtain appropriate roles satirizing himself. ß: 158.
Skills Required: Charm, ability to sponge without shame.
Duties: Dress well, speak a few languages, bleach teeth, be able to hold an infinite amount of liquor (!), know how to
dance like a white man, remain on excellent terms with ex-lovers and wives, look elegant, produce short bursts of scintillating conversation.
Famous Examples: In addition to George Hamilton? Jay McInerney (used to be a wunderkind), Henry Kissinger (used to be a war criminal),Tommy Lee (used to be sort-of interesting). W
How to Get It: Must be good-l ooking and have achieved a certain level of celebrity already, but not enough to make people uncomfortable. Beyond that, all that’s required is showing up, over and over again, and always looking like you’re having fun. W
The Upside: Barry Diller always says hello.
The Downside: Secret knowledge of one’s own fatuosity.
The Dark Side: Skin cancer. W
Where You Go from Here: I don’t know. Where’s the party?